SoundSalvationArmy

Check out that gam! It’s a leg lamp! And in the spirit of A Christmas Story (which TBS is running on a freakin’ 24-hour marathon again), I offer up Fall Out Boy’s Yule Shoot Your Eye Out. Normally, I do not subscribe to the pop-punk-crap asthetics of Fall Out Boy, but I cannot tell a lie: I enjoy their long song titles very much. This one, Yule Shoot Your Eye Out, is obviously an homage to Ralphie’s mother in A Christmas Story and her frequent refrain in response to his desire for a Red Ryder BB Gun. And the tune’s not TERRIBLE. I mean, it could be worse, right? Yeah. It could. I haven’t even gotten to the Knight Rider song yet!

Sam asked for Christmas in Hollis, but as Kurtis Blow points out on Christmas Rappin’, that is plaaaaayed out. Rap has evolved so much in such a short period of time, it’s hard to believe what a young genre it is. Kurtis Blow was a pioneer. With Run DMC’s help, he became one of the first successful hip hop MCs and definitely one of the first to be signed to a major label. Todays MCs got nothin’ on Blow. I mean, he rhymes roly poly with holey moley. BRILLIANT! I shouldn’t front. The dude opened for The Clash, so that makes him OK in my books. And speaking of Christmas rapping, what more gift could you possibly want other than a song with David Hasselhoff and K.I.T.T. saving Santa Claus? Nothing. That’s what. Be grateful, dammit. You know who that is speaking as K.I.T.T.? That’s Mr. Feeny, goddammit. You show some respect for Mr. Feeny!

Scissors For Lefty brings us Christmas Intentions, a song about naughty kids who are going to get nothing for Christmas. Think about this song as you get ready to mark another year. On New Year’s Eve, my mom used to tell me “You have to behave all year now. Santa remembers.” That threat worked better than almost anything else. If I was ever going to do something that might get me in trouble, I’d weigh the possibilities in my mind and then make my choice based on how close to Christmas it was. I mean, Santa watches ALL the time? Come on! He’s gotta sleep sometime! I was more of a Calvin-type. In the battle between being good and bad, goodness hardly put up much of a fight.

But no matter how long I had to wait, it wasn’t as long as most kids. My family celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve. I don’t know why. Probably because my parents figured out early on we were easy to fool with a “Look! Over there! Oh, wow! While you weren’t looking Santa came!” Consequently, they never had to put up with a night of whining and pleading before getting up at 6 a.m. the next day to open presents.

This is the first year of my life that I won’t be spending Christmas Eve with my mom and dad and brother. I’m kind of sad about that, but I’ll see them in January. So I guess these feelings of regret and nostalgia are more because I don’t get to eat a delicious meal of Chinese food courtesy my hometown Chinese restaurant. I will miss you, ginger beef. When I moved away from home and had to travel to make it back for Christmas, Home on Christmas Day by Cyndi Lauper would play in my head. Being stuck in the city for Christmas when I just wish I could get home to relax is the worst feeling in the world. But like Cyndi says, I am just a thought away.

But enough of that gloominess!

Let’s talk about something else. I know! Drunks!

Fairytale of New York: Great Christmas song or GREATEST Christmas song? The answer is, of course, B. This is the best Christmas song currently in existence. From the drawling (possibly drooling) lament of Shane MacGowan, to the lilting loveliness of Kristy MacColl, this is just bracingly, refreshingly awesome. Long a favourite Christmas song in the UK, it’s been kicking around the airwaves on Christmas for 20-odd years now, consistently being named a favourite by critics and fans alike. So of course, in order not to offend anybody, BBC Radio 1 decided this was the year it should be censored.

Thanks, BBC, but no thanks. Kristy MacColl’s mother, the Pogues themselves, and countless listeners called the station to let them know in no uncertain terms that it was handily more offensive to edit the song than it ever would be to hear the words “cheap lousy faggot” uttered by MacColl.

First of all, I’ve heard it before. You’re not offending me because I already know the tune, dudes. You can take the words out, but their existence is made that much more obvious by their abscence. Second, I find it ironic that I can hear the intimate details of Jamie Lynn Spears’ sex life on the evening news, but I cannot listen to a Christmas classic unmolested. I feel like Senator Bulworth. “Obscenity!? Obscenity!?” Puh-lease. Luckily, the station saw the error of their ways and went back to playing the unedited version. A Christmas miracle.

So I guess that about does it for me for Christmas songs. Stay tuned for the songs and albums we all thought rocked the hizzy this year. Not sure EXACTLY when those are being made public, but be on the lookout!

Until then: Happy-Happy, Merry-Merry from your comrades in the Sound Salvation Army!

 

 Fall Out Boy - Yule Shoot Your Eye Out: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Kurtis Blow - Christmas Rappin': Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 A Knight Rider Christmas: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Scissors For Lefty - Christmas Intentions: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Cyndi Lauper - Home on Christmas Day: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 The Pogues - Fairytale of New York: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Tanis entries Christmas music, indie rock, mix tapes, pop, pop punk, rap, the Pogues

So apparently — according to one of my own hand-slected contributors — I’m a hippie for liking Common.

That’s all well and good — but it was framed as if that might be a bad thing. I’m not sure that it is, but on the off-chance that Sam is right, I present this song as a counter-point. My hope is that by liking both ODB and Common he will realize that I have awesome and well-rounded taste.

Anyway, here’s one of the most totally awesome songs ever. RIP, BBJ.

 

 ODB - I Can't Wait [4:00m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

ODB rocks the shit, people:
iTunes: solo rekkidz galore
Wu Tang “corporate” headquarters: i’m not sure what you’ll find here, but the new Clan record is on its way…

Pat entries hip hop, Ol Dirty Bastard, rap, Wu Tang Clan

One of my favourite rap artists (and one of the few rappers you can call artists) working today is a gent by the name of Common. When he’s not acting in big budget movies with Jeremy Piven or cutting ads for Coca-Cola, he puts out albums that are consistently terrific. He’s done a lot of what some people call, “conscious hop-hop,” and his lyrics show a lot of intelligence and concern for America’s black community.

A big part of the appeal for me is a lack of bravado, ego, and arrogance in his music (even though most of his material – including his entire last album – is produced by Kanye). One of the standouts on his latest, Finding Forever, features guest vocals from one of this summer’s it-girls (Lily Allen), but what really steals the show is Common’s terrific use of pop-culture references to keep the song light while simultaneously calling out talented rappers who try too hard to be famous.

My favourites? Allusions to Lisa Nowak, the NASA astronaut who drove across the country wearing diapers to confront the woman who was dating a fellow astronaut she was obsessed with, and OKGO’s infamous treadmill video. Enjoy.

 

 Common - Drivin' Me Wild (w/ Lily Allen) [3:43m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Common’s music (including his superior earlier albums) can be found:
iTunes: all over this thing
web store: one of few artists with their own mp3 web store

Pat entries Common, conscious, hip hop, Kanye West, Lily Allen, rap

You don’t have to dial 1-900-RAEKWON to know shit is real. The Wu-Tang Clan is not only the greatest rap crew in history (you know I’m right), but also one of the most enterprising. On top of their pioneering multi-label deal, they hit big with the Wu-Wear clothing line (which I have been known to rock from time to time), Wu-themed comic books, even a Ghostface action figure that says “Bitch, I fucked your friend/yeah, you stank ho.”

The Wu’s most ambitious marketing gimmick, however, is likely 1999’s Shaolin Style video game for the original PlayStation system.

Shaolin may not be the best fighting game out there — hell, it might not even make sense, but there’s something magical about picking up a controller and — as the GZA — beating the fuck out of people using Shaolin’s finest kung fu techniques.

Essentially, the plot goes like this: Xin, the Clan’s kung fu master, is kidnapped by the evil warlord Mong Zhu, who wants to learn the secrets of the Wu-Tang discipline. He ends up killing Xin, ripping off part of the guy’s chest (depicted in cutscenes that are actually quite impressive)…and it’s the Wu’s goal to stop him and avenge their master.

Or something. It doesn’t really matter. Basically you walk around alleys kicking the shit out of anonymous ninjas. Shaolin Style is the overlord of all button-mashers. There are apparently pre-set moves, but it’s next to impossible to figure them out, so you basically have Method Man (or whoever) doing random things on screen as you press as many buttons as possible.

Unlike most fighting games, the characters can’t even jump. It’s not even that easy to tell who’s who, but it doesn’t matter. Where else can you, in the role of the late Ol’ Dirty Bastard, decapitate a guy while saying “don’t mess with Big Baby Jesus”?

That alone makes Shaolin one of the best video games ever. It’s by no means the first music-themed game — I had Journey’s Escape cartridge for my Atari 2600, and I was a big fan of the Aerosmith Revolution X arcade game (mainly because I got to shoot Steven Tyler in his stupid face, although that didn’t get me any points) — but it’s probably the best.

For another thing, the game is laced with actual Wu music. RZA instrumentals abound, and the PlayStation disc can be played in any regular CD player if you want to hear two Wu exclusives as well as a bunch of beats.

The songs themselves aren’t that hot. It’s obvious RZA and co. knew they were writing for a video game soundtrack so they weren’t really on their A-game. They are, however, Wu-Tang songs, which makes them instantly awesome.

Also, if you’re like me and you’re getting antsy about the December release of 8 Diagrams and need to get your Wu fix, check out Wu-Peanuts, some of the funniest shit I’ve seen in a long time.

I have no clue what these songs are called. I’m sure they have titles, but it doesn’t matter. All things Wu can be found at http://www.wutangcorp.com.

 

 Wu-Tang Clan - Shaolin Style Track 2: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Wu-Tang Clan - Shaolin Style Track 3: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Sam entries hip hop, rap, video games, Wu Tang Clan

Listening to the radio today in Canada is a horrible, cloying pastiche of the same sub-mediocre bands with mass-market appeal having their numerous “hits” played several times a day to placate the CRTC’s CanCon regulations. Surprisingly though, there’s no swelling tide of revolt in independent music. You may notice over the course of this mix tape that there are no Canadian artists; that’s not to say that there are NO Canadian groups that have written songs deriding the practice of commercial radio, but I think artists here have less of an activist bent on this one. Independent and major label bands alike here seem a little more willing to let the suits do what they need to while they eke out a modest means however they can. I personally haven’t turned on commercial radio on purpose since I was eight — but what are your thoughts? Comment below!

Of course, the Sound Salvation Army radio programme is anything but — check us out on Thursday nights from 8-10:00pm (Saskatchewan, Canada time) on 91.3fm CJTR. Streaming audio via www.cjtr.ca.

While our mix tape may not be totally representative of our home and native land, I assure you forthcoming posts will have Canucks well-represented. For now though, we’re rallying against the man with the most representative songs I could come up with out of the back of my mind. Enjoy — more are coming.

 

 Public Enemy - Bring The Noise [3:46m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Hot Water Music - Free Radio Gainesville [2:28m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Alkaline Trio - We've Had Enough [2:51m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 

 Jimmy Eat World - Your New Aesthetic [2:41m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Public Enemy’s second record was titled It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back, but the millions had more to do with sales than anything.
Hot Water Music was an unstoppable force of nature and I’m terribly sad that they broke up. Awesome records like No Division make the pain subside.
The Alkaline Trio might not be quite what they used to be, but they’re awesome…like their record Good Mourning.
Jimmy Eat World put out an album called Clarity that was surprisingly cool. Then they got less cool.

Pat entries Alkaline Trio, Hot Water Music, Jimmy Eat World, mix tapes, pop rock, Public Enemy, punk rock, rap