Kick Out the Jams!
So I’ve been filling my unemployed hours this summer and releasing some of my pent up rage by roller skating in circles and hitting other women. Yes. I am a roller girl!
When I was 12, my mom refused to buy me rollerblades because they “looked too dangerous.” Instead, I went home with a pair of boot roller skates with hot pink wheels and laces. I was mortified. I imagine, if my mom had known I was going to use those same skates to learn a body contact sport that requires both a mouth guard and insurance, I would’ve been the proud owner of a harmless hacky sack.
Instead, after many punishing practices, I have traded my old boot skates for derby skates and I’m scrimmaging as a fresh meat skater with the Tri-City Roller Girls. Not only is it a super workout, it’s a blast hanging out with these talented, athletic dames! We work hard and we play to win and entertain our fans! If you have a derby team in your area, you should check out a bout or two, maybe strap on some skates, volunteer or try some stripes on for size as a ref! Fishnets optional.
Derby has evolved since the ’70s when bouts were staged and women regularly went over the rails. We don’t punch each other in the face, but we do hit hard and skate fast. We kept the hot pants and the attitude, but ditched the fakery. All spills, crashes and takedowns you see on the track are real and unstaged. We’ve got the bruises to prove it! Another thing that has sort of evolved is the way the leagues are run. We’re a collective of volunteers and nobody owns us. There’s a DIY feel to almost everything we do. It’s way indie, so you hipsters should appreciate that. I know I do!
Plus, if you get involved with derby now, you’ll beat the rush of people who will no doubt flood leagues once Drew Barrymore’s Whip It! hits theatres in October. The roller derby movie is Drew’s directorial debut. She also stars as Bashely Simpson, a member of the Hurl Scouts, the roller derby team that recruits Ellen Page (Juno) to skate as Babe Ruthless. SNL favourite Kristen Wiig, rapper Eve, stunt woman and all around awesome chick Zoe Bell, and official weirdo Juliette Lewis also star.
But I digress. Tomorrow our TCRG team the Venus Fly Tramps take on Toronto’s Derby Debutantes in a Tiki Throwdown! I’ll be there cheering them on and you should be, too!
The Trampede starts at the Activa Sportsplex in Kitchener on Lennox Lewis Way tomorrow! Doors are at 6 p.m., whistle blows at 7 p.m. Tickets are available at the door, online, or at Encore Records, Wordsworth Books, Delirium Clothing and Upper Case Books. After the bout, come hang with us at The Heuther Hotel in Waterloo at 9:30 p.m.
Like Uncle Leon and the Alibis say, there ain’t nothin’ so sweet as a girl on skates whoopin’ other girls’ asses all night! GET ON IT, PEOPLE!
Uncle Leon and the Alibis - Roller Derby Saved My Soul: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download The Mohawks - The Champ (Tramps): Play Now | Play in Popup | Download MC5 - Kick Out the Jams: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download
