Don’t tell me what the trolls are doing…
I’m having some serious deja vu, you guys!
In my early university days I submitted a few reviews to the Punknews site, which I frequented because I considered myself not only a punk rocker but also a thinking man’s punk rocker. I couldn’t have been less of a punk rocker in the stereotypical sense, but I liked the music.
The reviews were, at best, the fawn-legged first attempts at music criticism. It was clear I barely knew how to articulate my thoughts at the time and my thoughts were, frankly, sometimes muddled. I regard them somewhat comically now, like a six year-old taking his first tentative swings at a t-ball stand.
I couldn’t be sure exactly why it happened but those few reviews were apparently enough to draw the ire of one particularly vile interweb troll, a person who posted the same hateful screed in the comments section of each review. I’ve tried to look back at them today but they seem to have been pulled from Punknews’ archives. For the best, I suppose (although some would point out that kind of ad hominem attack eventually became the MO for most commenters on that site).
I recall reading those homophobic, curse-laden remarks and being a bit hurt. At first, anyway. I think I started ignoring such criticism around the time I reviewed a techno album by printing nothing but 75 different onomatopoeic words and phrases. Reviewing music isn’t a serious business; it stands to reason that reviewing a review is even less serious.
So imagine my surprise this weekend when I got an email notifying me of a new comment on this website. Imagine my further surprise when I discovered that the text, quoted below, struck a shockingly familiar note that is all too reminiscent of those nearly decade-old anonymous web blasts.
Hey what’s up Pat. God you’re a piece of shit. Do you know how much i fucking hate you? No, Well then let me tell you all about it. I fucking hate you. Your reviews suck, you like shitty bands, you suck cock for a living, you like to suck goat’s asses. You are a damn goat sucker (CHUPACABRA). It other words, you are a slimy weird looking little midget thing that lives in the desert of Mexico. You suck at reviewing as mentioned above, and i fucking hate you. YOU ARE A BUTT PIRATE. Now, as for the cd it’s pretty good, but on a side note PAT IS A FLYING PIECE OF FUCK. Thank you for taking the time to read this review of PAT being a big asshole. By the way I can type right. and GRAMATICALLY CORRECT (notice I didn’t spell the word gramatically wrong while ripping apart someone’s grammar)do you See dickhead? By the way i will post this on every review you write.
Those extremely mature words come from what is no doubt an extremely mature reader going by the handle “SONIKtheHEDGEHOG.” He appears to be from Troy, Michigan. As I suspected his email address, Pat_Book_is_a_worthless_piece_of_shit@yahoo.com, is phony. He has, thus far, failed to follow through on his threat to post the same comment on each of my more than 225 posts on this site.
I can’t imagine what it is about my harmless reviews that infuriate him so but I guess everyone looks at things differently. Maybe I said something mean about his band once. If so, I sincerely apologize and can only offer a bit of advice, something I learned from my experiences on Punknews: don’t take it personally.
But be honest you guys: my grammar isn’t THAT bad, is it?
Crash and The Boys - We Hate You Please Die [0:59m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download Land of Talk - The Hate I Won't Commit [5:01m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download
I’m totally going to create/claim Emmet_Matheson_is_a_worthless_piece_of_shit email addresses in every popular email service.
He may be able to spell “grammatically”, but that guy has shitty punctuation. And he seems like kind of a douche. Too bad he hides behind anonymity and won’t let you actually respond to him. What a fucking pussy.
@Emmet
I doubt yahoo or google would let you have a swear word, but hotmail seems to be falling to pieces. Maybe they’d allow it!